Meltdowns are very different than traditional temper tantrums, which generally have a goal in mind. Experts say it’s important not to invalidate your child’s feelings or try to tell her how to feel. Avoid yelling, berating, or losing control.Give your child space to vent without your attention. In some cases, use a strategy called “ planned ignoring.” If the tantrum persists, walk away if you’re both in a safe place.It’s a good idea to empathize while also being resolute. Be consistent in responding to a child’s need to get what they want. Acknowledge the “want” and clearly set expectations.Does the child watch other people’s reactions as his tantrum is unfolding and adjust behavior according to those reactions? This might look like calming down when the adult starts to negotiate or give in to the demand.Does the child tell you what she’s going to do before she does it to prepare you for what’s to come? This may be holding her breath, jumping out of a shopping cart, refusing to get in the car, or throwing an object.Does the crying and fussing suddenly stop when the child gets what he wants? This may be a piece of candy, a toy, leaving a situation that seems boring, or not having to do an undesired task.So, how can you tell if your child is throwing a tantrum? Consider these signs and tips for handling them: In fact, tantrums can occur in children up to age 4. For them, screaming and stomping may be a pretty good strategy. You know that feeling when you really want something, and you’d do just about anything to get it? As adults, we have our tried and true ways to “make things happen.” But kids are still developing and struggling to express themselves with words. That said, the mental and emotional health of your family may rest in the understanding that there is a difference between what many consider to be a typical “tantrum” and a real sensory “meltdown.” Deciphering is not always easy, but here are some tips on understanding your child’s emotional state and how to handle it. It’s virtually impossible to be in a perpetual state of patience or self-awareness. You’re trying to handle chores, finances, school, work, relationships, and so much more. Does he want something? Is she trying to get attention? Is he just being fussy for no reason? What is going on? Tantrum or Meltdown?įirst, parents, give yourselves a break. A toddler or young child is having a hard time and starts to wail uncontrollably. The truth is, every parent has been there. Still, other parents chimed in to say that, without the whole story, it wasn’t a good idea to make any judgment about the child or the parent. A couple of people remarked that the child might have some underlying Sensory Processing Disorder issues since she was not a toddler. Others thought the mother was exacerbating the situation. Some people thought the child was a “brat” and should be punished. It was clear that both the parent and the child were in distress. While the child was melting down, the mom berated her for not getting the gum the girl desperately wanted. A mother took a video of her daughter, who was kicking, screaming, and spitting in the back seat of a car. The other day, I was part of a “robust” discussion on Facebook after someone had posted a video of a child having an apparent tantrum.
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